The Sickness
by Felinae Silvestris
Summary: There's a murderer on the loose, and no-one seems to know who it is. The Jellicles are worried, but perhaps they're not worried enough... On Hiatus.
1. Suddenly It Changes

**A/n:** This is a rewrite of a fic I wrote a little while ago. It's rather dark, and really quite gruesome. So be warned, it's rated M for a reason. Namely gore, and some swearing. It was inspired by Down With the Sickness by Disturbed, one of my favourite songs. It moves at a rather fast pace, but aside from that I think it's best if you just read to find out what's going on. Enjoy, and let me know if you like it or not, constructive reviews make me happy. The original version can also be found at the Bordello, and on my site.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cats, I own any OC's in this but they don't tend to be around much, and I don't own the song Down With The Sickness either. Also I'm claiming the story concept! So there!

* * *

**The Sickness **

**Prologue – Suddenly It Changes**

_What have I done?_

He stares back at me, his lifeless eyes accuse me. I can't stand to look but neither can I tear my eyes away. The pool of crimson expands so slowly, surrounding him in his own blood, staining his fur. He accuses me still, silent and unmoving yet he screams at me, reminding me of what I have done. Ice runs down my spine, making me shiver but still I cannot turn away. It doesn't make any sense, how could I do this?

Why? Why did I kill him? I didn't know him, he hadn't done anything wrong. He did start the fight, refused to back down even though it was clear that I had won. I certainly have now. He shouldn't have done that, he shouldn't have said what he did but that's no excuse to kill him. I should have stayed my paw, held back that final blow. Self-defence is one thing but nothing gives me the right to murder in cold blood, does it?

I have blood on my paws and not just metaphorically speaking. I resist the urge to clean them no longer, I have no choice. I feel the blood coating my paws, warm and sticky, cooling fast in the chilled night air. The scent of death hangs heavy on the air, taunting me. His dying breath replays in my mind; over and over I hear the coughing and gurgling as he chokes on his own life. I taste it, the metallic flavour of his blood coats my tongue as I fight to get clean. A shudder, as yet another wave of nausea comes over me, I can't suppress it any longer…

It doesn't help. I can't rid myself of this so easily. What am I going to do? I can't let anyone find out about this. In my mind I see Munkustrap's face, Cassandra's, my friends. I see my own horror reflected in their eyes. I don't want to hurt them like that, they can never know what I've done.

What if they found out? How could I explain what I've done? How could I do it? I didn't want to kill him, I didn't plan it. He pissed me off, I lost control. He refused to back down and it, it came naturally. Instinct. Surely it couldn't have been, cold-blooded murder is not something a normal cat does by instinct. So what am I then?

I had a choice. That split second before I- I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it. Why didn't I? At that moment, I controlled his fate, held his life in my paws. I was the one to decide to end his life. Holding that much power, even for one brief moment, I felt like a god. Then again, only a god should be able to wield that kind of power. It was intoxicating, amazing…

Wrong. It was wrong, I shouldn't be allowed to feel like that. I don't want to feel like that again. Do I? No, that's not who I am. I can't, I'm not going to. It won't happen again.

How long have I been sitting here? Looking up, I see the first rays of sunlight coming over the horizon, it's already dawn and I'm still here. It's starting to smell bad now, I'd almost hoped he would have disappeared. Maybe just got up and walked away, then I wouldn't be stuck in this nightmare. Wishful thinking. It's real, I killed him and he's not going to just walk away from that.

I need to do something. The smell, the blood… it'll attract attention. It won't be long before the humans invade the streets once more, rushing about like they always do. With them come the dogs, maybe even other cats. I have to hide what I've done, then I have to get out of here before anyone sees me. The longer before he's found, the better.


	2. No Turning Back Now

**Chapter 1 – No Turning Back Now**

A patched tomcat crept in the the Jellicle Junkyard, glancing furtively over his shoulder as if he thought he was being followed. It was just after dawn, most cats would be asleep until at least full light. This appeared to be the case as the Junkyard was quiet and empty in the early morning half-light. Alonzo breathed a sigh of relief. If no-one was around it meant he could get to his den without anyone noticing his late return.

The black and white tom reached the old bedside cabinet he lived in, crawled inside and collapsed onto the pile of dingy old blankets that made a comfortable bed. It wasn't as comforting as it usually was, leading him to shift around for a while before finally settling down. One small fortune was the absence of the den's other resident. Cassandra was staying with her human owners for a few days, so he could avoid the inquisition he might have faced about where he'd been all night.

The adrenaline had faded from Alonzo's bloodstream leaving him exhausted, both physically and mentally. It was only minutes after he curled up before he was into a restless sleep. He slept the morning and most of the afternoon. He could have slept longer if Munkustrap hadn't shouted his name from right outside the den. He answered the call with an annoyed growl before dragging himself outside to see what the other tom wanted.

"Sorry Alonzo, didn't realise you were asleep. Are you alright? It's not like you to sleep this late."

"I'm fine Munk, just didn't sleep very well." The patched tom dismissed, rubbing his eyes with a paw as he fought to wake up properly.

"That's not like you, are you sure everything's okay?" Munkustrap persisted with clear concern.

"I told you I'm fine!" Alonzo snapped, his ears flicking back in annoyance.

"Take it easy, I'm just worried," Munkustrap replied impatiently. He sighed, running a paw through his headfur. "Look, why don't you take the night off from your duties, I'll cover for you, let you get some rest." He suggested after a moments thought.

"You don't mind?"

"No. You look like you need it and I've got nothing better to do."

"Great. Thanks Munku. Uhm, sorry about snapping at you before, I'm just a bit tired. I have a lot on my mind at the minute," the bi-colour said.

"Don't worry about it. You eaten yet? We could go get something," the silver tabby replied.

The two toms walked towards the main area of the Junkyard, making small talk along the way. Alonzo did his best to focus on what his companion was saying, but could not stop thinking. It had just occurred to him, what Munkustrap might do if he knew what Alonzo had done. He decided that he would just have to ensure that he was not found out.

As he thought this, a black and orange blur hurtled towards them, coming to a halt in front of them.

"Munku, Alonzo, something's happened!" Mungojerrie gasped, visibly shaking.

"Calm down Jerrie, what's going on?" the silver tabby asked. Mungojerrie took a deep breath before answering.

"The henchcats, they found a tomcat dead, not too far from here. Real mess, no idea who did it."

"Are you sure it wasn't Macavity?." Alonzo interjected, a little too quickly. The other toms turned sharply to look at him, both a little confused.

"No. We know it was a cat that did it. They would have known if it was Macavity. He sends out a clean-up team straight away." Mungojerrie replied in an uncharacteristically deadpan manner. Munkustrap shuddered.

"Makes sense. Someone must know something though," Munkustrap said thoughtfully.

Alonzo said nothing, this conversation was becoming dangerous and it made him feel more than uneasy. Now that the body had been found, he would have to be really careful.

"What do you think we should do, Jerrie?" Munkustrap asked.

"Shit, I dunno. I can't think who else might have done this. The Siamese aren't in town. We gotta be careful. Whoever did this, they're probably very dangerous. From what I hear, he was badly beaten up, might even have been beaten to death."

"Of course. My major concern is to keep the Jellicles safe. We'll have to increase our security measures, at least until we know more. If you hear anything else keep us posted Jerrie, and watch your tail."

"Will do Munku. When I know, you'll know." The tiger tabby said, before running the way he came.

Over the next couple of days, Munkustrap took extra precautions. He had two toms on watch at all times. The queens and younger cats could not leave the Junkyard without an escort, although only Munkustrap and Alonzo were prepared to leave the Junkyard alone. The other toms preferred to stay in the Junkyard for their own safety as much as for the tribe. Even the kittens were more subdued, they knew something serious was going on. Nothing had happened so far, but Mungojerrie had not been seen since he had reported the murder. He had refused to let Rumpelteazer go with him, and to say she was worried sick was an understatement. The absence of her excited giggle and the sounds of kittens playing made the Junkyard feel empty and cold.

Two days after Mungojerrie had last been seen, Alonzo found himself out wandering the streets again. He was looking for food, and for information. Munkustrap had sent him to check around the Junkyard for signs of problems. So far he'd found nothing, not even dinner, and he was about to leave the dingy alleyway he'd been searching. A loud clang and a low hiss stopped him in his tracks.

"Looking for something, Jellicle? I hear there's a murderer on the loose. You ought to watch yourself." A deep voice growled from behind him. The patched tom turned around, to see that the voice belonged to a scrawny, mangy looking, black tom cat.

"What's it to you? This is Jellicle territory, you have no right to be here." Alonzo hissed back.

"I'll go wherever the hell I want. No Jellicle can stop me." The stray spat.

He was obviously looking to start something. The temptation to point out what had happened the other night settled in Alonzo's mind, perhaps he'd leave it alone then. It wouldn't be very smart to do something like that though, he couldn't tell anyone about it.

"Is that so? You shouldn't underestimate me. You have no idea what I'm capable of." He growled, baring white teeth and sharp claws. The other tom let out a snort of derisive laughter.

"Jellicles are weak, why should I be afraid of you?" he hissed, starting to circle.

Next thing he knew, he was on his back with Alonzo pinning him by his shoulders. He snarled, and managed to throw the patched tom off. The fight continued, both toms clawing and biting viciously. All passers-by would have seen is a moving, growling mass of black and white fur. It was quickly becoming obvious that Alonzo was stronger, but the other tom had no intentions of backing down, it would seem.

The Jellicle pinned him again, holding him down and rendering him quite unable to move. Jaws poised over the stray's throat, ready to finish him off. He was a threat, in Alonzo's eyes, and that seemed to justify it.

"I warned you not to underestimate me. I'm the one who murdered that other cat." He hissed quietly, watching as the tom's eyes widened with fear, and closed his jaws around his throat, rendering the stray voiceless and unable to cry out his pain.

The black tom's eyes glazed over as his blood leaked from around Alonzo's teeth, forming a dark pool around the two cats. He bit down harder, the metallic taste of the blood filling his mouth as the tom's life faded away. He heard the gurgle of his last breath as the blood rose up in his throat, choking him. The patched tom relished in the control he had over whether he lived or died.

Alonzo was confused though, he didn't feel like he did the first time. Last time he'd been horrified at what he'd done, but doing it again he recognised the adrenaline flooding through him, the power and it was intoxicating. It felt amazing, better because he knew it was wrong. He felt a little nauseous, part of him disgusted with himself, but he felt the warmth in his veins, the rush, and it felt good.

'_I don't understand why I feel this way, I know it's not right, but I can't help it.' _

'_Oh shit, I better get cleaned up; white fur doesn't hide blood very well. I should hide the body. I've done it again haven't I? What is wrong with me? I'm changing, and I don't know if I like it.'_


End file.
